So good they can’t ignore you

One of the books I am glad I read in my 20’s. It is an eye opening book that helps decide in which direction to go to have a fulfilling life.

There are multiple choices we are making during our lifetime which affects our future. Those decisions are mostly based around wrong assumptions or advice. Which might be very expensive in the long term…

Let’s explore the key learnings and find a better way.

Rule #1: Don’t Follow Your Passion

I have a story. There are two people, Bob and Rick. Both of them are young, 18 years of age. Bob is a very popular, extroverted person in the school, has a nice car, dates the most beautiful girl, goes partying every week and does only the minimum. On the other hand Rick is introverted, likes reading, goes to workshops and meetups and he makes websites in his spare time. Now the time comes to choose which college they would like to enroll in. Bob would pick the college where the biggest parties are happening, whereas Rick something related to computer science. Both of them followed their passions, but we have assumptions who would actually have a fulfilling life.

People don’t try enough things to know exactly what might be their passion, that is true for you as well. The happiest, most passionate employees or entrepreneurs aren’t those who followed their passion into a position, but instead those who have been around long enough to become good at what they do. This is what we call passion hypothesis. Picking a job or career without any pre-existing passion could actually end up having it, because the deeper you go into a topic the more passion you would have. Compelling careers often have complex origins that reject the simple idea that all you have to do is follow your passion.

What we hear often is: “You’ve got to find what you love…. The only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

“Follow your passion” might just be terrible advice.

People can have very common passions, like dance, hockey, languages, reading, gaming etc. These passions don’t have much to offer when it comes to choosing a job. How can we follow our passions if we don’t have any relevant passions to follow? We will need a different strategy for choosing a career. It’s hard to find a book that doesn’t promote the passion hypothesis, spend a few minutes browsing the career-advice shelf the next time you visit a bookstore.

Everybody wants to have a great job and be passionate about it. These are the feelings that we really want to have and builds passion:

• Autonomy: the feeling that you have control over your day, and that your actions are important
• Competence: the feeling that you are good at what you do
• Relatedness: the feeling of connection to other people

Feeling these could be reached if you are so good they can’t ignore you.

Rule #2: Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You (Or, the Importance of Skill)

150 years ago life was completely different, it is obvious. But we could reuse some of the techniques. At that time swords were made by blacksmiths. These people were very precise and hard working, but how could a young guy learn the craft? The blacksmith would accept him to work together in return for some food and water, this way he could learn every skill that is required to be a good blacksmith. That’s the craftsman mindset.

Let’s dive deeper.

The craftsman mindset focuses on what you can offer the world, the passion mindset focuses instead on what the world can offer you. This mindset is how most people approach their working lives.

There’s something liberating about the craftsman mindset: It asks you to leave behind self-centered concerns about whether your job is “just right,” and instead put your head down and plug away at getting really damn good at what you do. No one owes you a great career, you need to earn it, and the process won’t be easy.

This is especially true for entry-level positions, which, by definition, aren’t going to be filled with challenging projects and autonomy. When you enter the working world with the passion mindset, the annoying tasks you’re assigned or the frustrations of corporate bureaucracy can become too much to handle.

Regardless of how you feel about your job right now, adopting the craftsman mindset will be the foundation on which you’ll build a compelling career.

Supply and demand

What makes great work great? Traits that define great work are creativity, impact and control.

By definition, we also know that these traits are valuable, as they’re the key to making a job great. But now we’re moving into well-trod territory. Basic economic theory tells us that if you want something that’s both rare and valuable, you need something rare and valuable to offer in return. If you want these traits you need rare and valuable skills to offer in return. Think of these rare and valuable skills you can offer as your career capital. The craftsman mindset, with its relentless focus on becoming “so good they can’t ignore you,” is a strategy well suited for acquiring career capital.

The craftsman mindset, with its relentless focus on what you produce, is exactly the mindset you would adopt if your goal was to acquire as much career capital as possible. You need to get good in order to get good things in your working life, and the craftsman mindset is focused on achieving exactly this goal.

But keep in mind that not all jobs would be good to build your capital. Escape these if you can:

• The job presents few opportunities to distinguish yourself by developing relevant skills that are rare and valuable.
• The job focuses on something you think is useless or perhaps even actively bad for the world.
• The job forces you to work with people you really dislike.

Deliberate practice

Deliberate practice is the cornerstone of achieving excellence in any field, distinguishing those who merely participate from those who truly excel. Unlike casual engagement or repetitive tasks done for enjoyment, deliberate practice involves focused, structured effort aimed at stretching one’s abilities while receiving immediate, actionable feedback. This approach transforms potential into mastery.

Consider the analogy of weightlifting: lifting a 20kg weight 100 times may build endurance, but tackling a 100kg weight, even for just a few repetitions, pushes your limits and drives significant strength gains. The heavier lift forces adaptation, much like deliberate practice challenges individuals to confront their weaknesses head-on. For example, a novice programmer debugging complex code under time constraints learns more about problem-solving than one who repeatedly writes simple, familiar scripts.

In chess, research highlights the dominance of deliberate practice in predicting skill. Studies found that grandmasters dedicated over five times as many hours to serious study—analyzing complex positions and strategies—compared to intermediate players who plateaued. Deliberate practice involves “materials deliberately chosen or adapted” to present appropriately challenging problems. This contrasts with tournament play, where opponents may be mismatched, limiting opportunities for growth. For instance, a chess player studying grandmaster games to understand advanced tactics gains more than one who only plays casual matches against weaker or stronger opponents.

A key insight is that most professionals improve only until they reach an “acceptable” level, after which progress stalls. As one study observed, “further improvements appear to be unpredictable,” and years of experience alone don’t guarantee excellence. This is particularly relevant for knowledge workers, whose fields often lack a clear training philosophy. By integrating deliberate practice—such as a marketer analyzing campaign data to optimize strategies or a writer revising drafts to refine narrative structure—you can surpass peers who rely on routine performance. This dedication to systematic improvement can make you “so good they can’t ignore you,” as it fosters rare and valuable skills.

Deliberate practice isn’t inherently enjoyable; it demands intense focus and concentration, unlike the comfort of tasks we already do well. For example, a guitarist strumming familiar chords may feel satisfied, but true growth comes from practicing complex scales or new techniques under guidance. This effortful focus is what sets deliberate practice apart from casual play, whether it’s a tennis player drilling specific shots or a doctor reviewing case studies to improve decision-making.

Adopting a craftsman mindset rooted in deliberate practice requires commitment to pushing beyond comfort zones. By embracing this approach, you unlock the potential to not only excel but to redefine what’s possible in your field.

Rule #3: Turn Down a Promotion (Or, the Importance of Control)

Gaining control over what you do and how you do it is a powerful driver of career satisfaction, often described as the “dream-job elixir” for its prevalence among those who love their work. However, pursuing control is fraught with challenges, encapsulated in two critical traps that can derail even the most ambitious professionals.

The first control trap warns against seeking autonomy without sufficient career capital—skills, expertise, or value that make you indispensable. Without this foundation, attempts to gain control can lead to failure. Consider Jane, a member of the lifestyle-design community, who quit her job to pursue a self-designed path of freedom, only to find herself with autonomy but no financial stability. Similarly, a young blogger abandoned his 9–5 job at twenty-five to “live the dream” by building a business around his blog about lifestyle design. Lacking valuable skills or a viable product, his venture struggled, illustrating the peril of chasing control without capital. These stories highlight that autonomy without substance is unsustainable—you may have freedom, but you risk being unable to afford basic needs.

The second control trap emerges once you’ve built sufficient career capital. At this stage, your value makes you critical to your employer, who may resist your efforts to gain more control, as it often conflicts with their interests. For example, Lulu, stuck in a lackluster job, could have fallen into the first trap by impulsively quitting to pursue a passion project. Instead, she focused on acquiring career capital—honing skills and building expertise—before seeking a better role with more autonomy. Her patience paid off, allowing her to negotiate greater control without jeopardizing her stability. Similarly, Lewis, another professional, resisted pressure to stay in a conventional role, leveraging his capital to pursue a path aligned with his goals. Both required courage to overcome resistance, but their success hinged on timing and preparation.

Navigating these traps requires a clear strategy. When considering a pursuit that promises more control—whether launching a startup or seeking a new role within a company—ask, “Are people willing to pay for this?” Money, in this context, isn’t the goal but a neutral indicator of value. If there’s no evidence of demand, you likely lack the career capital to succeed. For instance, a software developer pitching a niche app must validate that customers will pay for it before leaving a stable job. Conversely, a marketing professional with a proven track record might negotiate remote work or a leadership role, confident that their skills command value.

By building career capital you can sidestep the control traps. This approach ensures that your pursuit of autonomy is grounded in value, enabling you to craft a career that’s not only fulfilling but also sustainable.

Rule #4: Think Small, Act Big (Or, the Importance of Mission)

A compelling career mission is a powerful driver of work you love, acting as an innovation waiting to be discovered at the cutting edge of your field. However, identifying and succeeding in a mission requires a strategic approach rooted in career capital and iterative experimentation.

To uncover a meaningful mission, you must first build career capital by mastering rare and valuable skills. This process positions you at the cutting edge of your field, where innovative missions become visible. Without this foundation, enthusiasm alone leads to outcomes like those of Jane, who pursued grand ideas without the skills to back them up, resulting in little progress.

Once at the cutting edge, identifying a mission is only the first step. Success hinges on execution, which is where the strategy of little bets comes into play. Unlike bold, all-or-nothing plans, little bets involve small, manageable experiments that yield concrete feedback. These bite-sized efforts, lasting a few months at most, allow you to test ideas, learn from failures, and build on small wins.

A successful mission requires three steps: First, build career capital to reach the cutting edge. Second, use little bets to test and refine your mission through small, feedback-driven experiments. Third, ensure your project is remarkable by making it shareable and launching it in the right venue. By combining mastery with systematic exploration and a marketer’s mindset, you can transform a mission into a reality that not only fulfills you but also resonates with others.

Conclusion

This book is a transformative guide that challenges conventional career advice, urging readers to rethink the pursuit of passion and instead focus on building rare and valuable skills. By emphasizing skill development over fleeting passions, the book empowers readers to create opportunities for autonomy, competence, and relatedness, ultimately leading to work that is both meaningful and impactful. For anyone in their 20s or beyond seeking direction in a world of endless choices, this book is a compelling call to action: don’t chase passion, build it through dedication and strategic effort.